Fabulous Sprinkled with Sass

I have a little guy at home that from the time he could start to express himself favored all things fabulous and sparkly…countless pairs of MY FABULOUS shoes ruined during the toddler years, when he wanted to wear Mommies heels. Around three he started wearing his older sisters fancier shirts as dresses with those heels, and it got to the point that I never noticed so when others would comment on why my son was wearing a dress and heels…I did the: ” wait? what???” Favorite movies were anything Barbie, and we watch so much Dora that I feel a little peeved I am having to repeat the process again (I DID my freaking time with Swiper, Boots, and that asshole the Map). He started school and realized that it was not the “norm” to prance around in frills and glitter, and sadly he chose on his own to get rid of all his “dress up” clothes. My shoes were left in peace, and I still remember him walking down the stairs, shoulders slumped, eyes on the floor with the bag containing all of his dolls. He had decided it was “wrong” to be a boy and like dolls, so he threw them all away. Now I love my child, and I know that if he is flamboyant he will have a hard life and if, later he decides he is gay he may have some rough roads ahead of him but I am happy with whatever makes him happy. He needs to know from us, his family, that he is accepted and loved. And besides the Mother’s worries of bullies, I am just fine with his being fabulous, because it makes him who he is.

A full 12 months passed and he comes to me and asks me if it is okay to have a doll. He tells me that he wants it to be a secret and no one will know if he has them. So he began to build up that collection, and eventually found a few friends that he felt comfortable enough to share his “secret” with. He also became obsessed with doing anything in public that would be seen as feminine. This lasted a long time, and he was very judgmental of anyone that he thought was different because they acted like a girl. Can you say repression???? He was repressing himself. He is now almost 11 and is starting to let his freak flag flow with confidence. Last year it started with wanting to paint his toenails, then his fingernails, then it was bracelets (yes I know men wear bracelets but usually not bangles), he started telling me about how he handled it when people would ask about it or make fun. This was good; he needed to be able to handle what people dished out on his own..and for a kid who is super dramatic and thinned skinned he was doing a super good job. Even the teacher that would say things to him about “wearing girl’s stuff”. I asked him if he wanted to wear dresses when he grew up, to which he responded in the most condescending tone that would make all bodacious ta ta’s proud “NO, Mo-om!!! I am not going to wear dresses!!!” , to which I said as apologetically as I could “Sorry, I was just curious” and he then clarifies in just the same tone ” I am going to wear sparkly vests and sparkly pants with boots!!” Oh, how could I have gotten that wrong???? How dare I not know!

He told me that he feels jealous of his little sister because she gets to wear tutus…..I reminded him of his no dress rule, and he told me that was out of the house and he would like a tutu for in the house. Again…duh mom! And did I mention that he now wears the same size shoe as me..and I have found him amongst my shoes often with feet inserted (not that I blame him..they are pretty fabulous and a tad outrageous)

I do not know if he will be gay, being feminine has nothing to do with sexuality to him right now. He just knows he likes pretty things and likes gaudy things, and likes the men on TV with the high pitched articulate voices…..but I do not know if being gay will be his path. If it is I will be proud of him and love him…because it makes no difference to me.

I love my fabulous son, and recently someone close to my family and someone that has been involved with my little lovely his whole life told me that he is a sinner. Yes, the conversation started with politics…but that someone that I love could say something like that about a kid that has no choice in who he is and really doesn’t know yet what that may be can be born a sinner because he likes what he likes..and that someday he may grow up and love whom he loves. With the climate of politics these days I have noticed the side of some of my friends that I like to call FUNKY FREAKY RELIOUS ZEALOTS has come more to light…and in these conversations…I realize that I am glad I am not a Christian, I am glad that a belief in something does not make me vicious and cruel all in the name of FAITH AND GOODNESS. I am generalizing….and I apologize. I think you should be free to practice whatever religion you choose, or belief system..whether Jah, Allah, God, Jehovah, chickens….just NO SCIENTOLOGY I have to draw the line somewhere. I just think if you worship or believe do it peacefully with kindness, not as a way to judge one another.

And to my child, if you decide you want to headline in a gay strip club…I will so be your biggest cheerleader ( I will never watch you gyrate to near nakedness because that is icky) but I will be cheering you on from afar. You want to be a Liberace impersonator…you go girl! Whatever you want your momma’s got your back…except for the exaggerated dramatic temper tantrums you throw daily..I do not got your back on those.

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