Day 2 Might as Well Burn it Down

 Day 2 Might as Well Burn it Down

Your house is never going to be totally clean again, and you will never have nice things. This is a fact. No amount of scrubbing is going to stop there from being grubby fingerprints there 5 minutes later. There is some mysterious force that makes small children sticky, and large children just gross. There is the toddler, who must touch everything. There are times when I think their arms are freakishly made out of rubber, because there are fingerprints in places that hold point at impossible. There is the 5-10 age range (change that to 12 for a boy) where bathing and changing underwear just are things that are just NOT done…So uncouth. They will walk around in the same underwear for weeks if you do not physically check or count during laundry. They will stand in front of you, look you full on in the eye, with dry hair, and lie about bathing. You will have to sniff them. Seriously sniff them and just POINT to the bathroom with your mom face on. This may be repeated 3-4 times a night. Bet you virginal-wombed know it alls did not know you would be counting undies. Teenagers…they may bathe, but they will live in a cesspool of filth and not even know it, because they are so self absorbed. My daughter once let the dog puke on her bed and slept there for another 2 weeks. They are vile, filthy beings. So your house will never be clean, unless you burn it down and start all over from scratch. Deal with it.
*Disclaimer here. I have written a lot this rant (please remember it is satirical) applying to only people that have given birth. I will include dads and adoptive parents. Giving birth does NOT make a parent, at least not a good one. *



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