Day 6 Oh, I Love You so Much It Hurts (when I clench my teeth)

 

You will hear over and over that you do not know love until you have a child. It is so cliché that it makes me get all acidy in the mouth. All the while cliché and totally overused, it is so true. Not even those of us with proverbial diarrhea of the mouth (another phrase that has new meaning once parenthood hatches) can adequately explain how love can be so huge and consuming, it just is not possible. I do not believe it happens to everyone right away, as I eventually stopped waiting for my daughter’s TRUE parents to come get her about half a year after she was born. But when it does take place it is stunning and overwhelming and you are never quite the same sane person ever again. But with great love comes great and triumphant passion. Those little tiny bits of person…can make you insane with “passion” i.e. they have the ability to piss you off like none other. It actually becomes a sport after time. They start pushing your tolerance levels around 1.5-2 years of age. Where are the limits, just how far can they go before it becomes nuclear?? Those little beings that still shat in their pants will store this information and USE it to DESTROY your sanity. One moment they will reach up with chubby dimpled little hands and cup your face and tell you “I love you, Mommy” and you will literally have a full body sigh. Just a release of goodness, of all that is right with your world in that little gesture. It is like no one has ever given you love before, because nothing has ever mattered so much as that. In the next moment that same cherub is doing something that only demonic forces would know how to push you so far, so very far over the edge you sometimes forget your own name. Let me give you an example: At the age 8 one of my sons decided it was okay to use my most favorite lipstick (you know the one that is the perfect hue, that you will never ever find again so you never wear it) to color the dog’s butthole. Then the dog proceeded to be offended (maybe he did not like the color) to try to rub off his red butthole all over the carpets, the very light colored brand new carpets…In 3 rooms!

 

I am not going to list all the children’s secrets, like the one when one tells another that it would be funny to poop in the yard …wait what??? But that is just a taste of the game “How to drive Mom nuts”. When you ask them WHY? WHY? What would make them do such a thing?!? The answer is always going to be “I don’t know”…always.
It does NOT get better as they get older. How or why they do things that seem directly put forth to just push your buttons I do not know. I still ask, though I don’t know why, I will probably always ask because just once I would like to know what made these things look like a good choice?!? And yes, I said pooping in the yard.
I have never been a jaw clencher or a teeth grinder until my first child reached 13, now I do it in my sleep. Like I said before, with great love comes great passion (being more pissed off than you ever thought you could be). So when I see jokes about “Buy your mother a drink because YOU are the reason she drinks”, it is not funny, it is just the simple truth.


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