Insomnia : Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time. That is the official definition. Seems like someone who has never experienced insomnia wrote that casual fluff filled definition. Here is what someone who lives with it would write: Insomnia: Your time alone in hell with your own thoughts, no matter how mundane they may be…Shopping lists, to do lists, kids, world economics, who would really win in a battle of Monthra vs. Godzilla?? Why don’t they have the Tick cartoon on anymore? What would happen if I swapped out Marvin Gaye for Stevie Wonder for the #4 slot on my best musicians of all time list? Would it be a good decision? People never afflicted with sleeplessness offer advice (however well intended) try tea, try candles, take a favorite “just don’t think, empty your mind”. Does it never occur to them we would if we could? My sweet husband that is used to my dilemma offers support even in his deep innocent sleep (that I don’t resent him for at all!!) will reach up every few hours and kind of rub my back and doesn’t even break the even sound of his snores while doing so. (asshole that can sleep) Such a thoughtful man.

It baffles me to no end…That I can lie there until the wee hours of the morning…Beseeching my brain and body to shut off and let me sleep…Only to fall so deeply asleep a few hours before it is time to wake…And I wake feeling the same way that I once felt when I was younger and had indulged in a weekend bender with the girls…But there is no bender…Just the most villainous nemesis ever unleashed on the humanity or so I tell myself at 2 am. And I am still required to function like a normal human being. Cruel.

On a side note changing order of my top 5 best musician’s did not make the roof cave in nor did it keep me awake the following night, so it must have been a good decision.

Second side note – That is OOOLLLDD Stevie Wonder before he just called to say that he loved me….


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: The Late Night Zombie Diary: How I Cope with Chronic-Idiopathic Insomnia | Dumb and Genius

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