Underoos Where Have You Been???

underoos 1980s

Do you remember the awesomeness that was Underoo’s?  I got my one and only pair when I was around 5. This was amazing on a few levels, first, they were considered mainstream in the world that I lived in, which meant that they were uber uncool.  I am not sure who bought them for me but I am pretty sure that it was not the Matriarch of Hippie-chic aka my Mother.  Maybe my Grandmother sent them to me, she allowed my polyester clad inner child to shine and even let me have real bacon and white bread when I would visit her.  A lot of the stuff that she sent me would go mysteriously missing (thrown out after I was asleep), but I did not allow these to be subject to that same dark fate.  I would wear them AT ALL TIMES. I can’t ‘lose’ something if it attached to me. So the whole summer I wore my super cool Wonder Woman Underoo’s, whether under shorts or just as they were in their pure state with a pair of rainbow flip flops.  You might think that wandering around in a tank and underwear that make up Underoos all over town sounds strange but you did not grow up where I did.  It was not strange to see kids with no clothes playing in parks, or toddlers wandering around in a t-shirt and no pants, this was how potty training was done.  So I was pretty demure in my super powered underwear.  I do not recall how they were cleaned if they never left my body, and or how that would have worked out with my borderline psychotic clean freak of a mother, but somehow for at least 3 months I held on to those wonderful Underoos.  But as they say “All good things must come to an end”, one day they disappeared. Not a word was ever said of this thievery, not by me and not by the Underoo snatcher.  I had gotten a little piece of magic that summer and was grateful for every minute of it.  I even have a picture of me and a bunch of kids sitting on rocks next to the creek in the park downtown, eating ice-cream, each of them in shorts, swimsuits, nude, and then there is me…almost glimmering in my Wonder Woman-ness.  It is a sight to behold.

As an adult I am curious about why they don’t make Underoo’s anymore.  I am sure that even today’s youth would appreciate their charm.  As I troll EBay searching in the “vintage” section all I can find are He-Man or Grey Skull…no Wonder Woman or even Super Girl.  I wonder why they don’t make adult ones.  Would it be peculiar to know that your co-workers or friends had She-Rah on under their clothes? No, I don’t think so. I think I might have more respect for some people if I knew that they too understood the magic.  Or at least had a sense of humor.

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