The Zunicorn, Vagina, and Maracas (search for the perfect costume)

carmen miranda 0I am no longer a child, but I pine each year for a brilliant idea to come and the time to fulfill that vivid vision.  There never seems to be time, part of not being a shitty mom is that those little humans that sprung forth from your loins come first.  You must get each of them their fantasy costume.  Time and thought must be paid. It does not end at single digits, my older kids inherited my love of playing pretend for a day.  They plot and plan until it is just right, often they cannot make up their minds so many years we have been two ideas mushed together: dead football player,   Zombie ghost, Dead Doctor, Hell Fire Zombie Teenager, Car Hop/Pink Lady, Pirate Rastafarian, and Hippie Vampire.  We always make it work somehow.  This year I have a Zunicorn (zebra and unicorn).  The others are still choosing. But I am impatient to get started on the adult costumes.

The thing about adult costumes is when you are a couple it is almost an unwritten law that you must somehow have a costume that makes sense as a couple, you have lost your individuality.  I really wanted to be Carmen Miranda this year, I have amazing red velvet shoes ala 1940’s that are crying out for some fruit topping, my husband did not see the thrill of wearing tight black pants and an open necked ruffled shirt and shaking his maracas. His sigh at the idea radiated BORING!  Back to closet went my red velvet lovelies (with a sigh of my own) and back to the drawing board I went.  As it goes this has been a long process, with many sighs and “whatever’s”, maybe I would be a little less apt to feel frustration if one suggestion was made, but no he leaves the idea’s to me and one by one has vetoed every freaking one.  Now I love that he is willing to dress up with me, and that he understands that I do NOT want MY maracas or anything else hanging out i.e. no slutty costumes for this chick, unless they are super funny floozy costumes, which I don’t think that they make!! DAMN!  But I don’t want to be worried about buns hanging out, let ricky-ricardoalone some vagina…those costumes are SHORT!  And I don’t like being cold.  I need a costume that is created, dreamed up and then fulfilled.  I am lucky that he understands this and plays along, but a notion of what he might want to be would be nice!! Not that I wouldn’t totally shoot him down, he is not the Conception guy when it comes to make believe, way too into math, logic, and crap that I just DO NOT understand!  So here is an account of our journey to genius (find the perfect costume).


To be Continued……….


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