I Don’t Want to Be Robin (Male Camel Toe)

70s-mens-jumpsuitsOn with the search for the perfect costume.  With being shot down on Carmen Miranda and Sidekick and Sea Horses, I tried to insert logic into my thinking.  It is really is not as fun as just running with it, but I have to consider two people, and frankly one isn’t quite as FUN as the other.  A lovely man, but lacking in imagination for sure!

So the chest hair getting caught in the net of the Sea Horse costume made me start thinking.  Lovely man does have some chest hair, and that could be very useful.  First I had visions of him in short, shorts and an open Hawaiian shirt with lots of chest hair poking out ala Magnum PI, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be Robin….Magnum was the cool one…who the hell would know who I was??  But then I came across this little jumpsuit gem……how awesome is a polyester man’s jumpsuit???  I mean I could throw something together but he could be a groov’in man of the 70’s taking the leisure suit to a higher level.  The chest hair would be such an asset.  I was almost jumping up and down in my anticipation of showing my unimaginative man his new costume.  I didn’t even bother to ask……I wanted it to be a surprise.  I could almost see his face as he came home and saw the shoes and jumpsuit all laid out on the bed, almost glowing with its magnificent glory.  How could he find fault with this.

When he gets home from work, I rush upstairs behind him as he goes to change not wanting to miss the look on his face.  Also wanting to bask in his warm compliments on finding what I consider is gold.

Now, his expression isn’t all that I had hoped for but he does look amused.  “I suppose you want me to try this on?” to which I respond by just clapping my hands and jumping up and down!!!  So I wait on the bed as he changes, I can hear him chuckling.  When I ask if he is laughing because it is so fabulous, he asks me what size it is.  Size? Ummm, hadn’t really thought of that.  It was just too awesome to have noticed a tag.  He walks out of closet and the sight that I am confronted with something that is so hilarious it took away from my disappointment of another costume landing with a CRASH! BOOM! CLANG! The polyester is so tight that there is NOTHING left to the imagination. It clings everywhere. What do you call a male camel toe? Is there a name?  It is not a pretty sight, uproariously funny, but not pretty.  When he turned around the material crawled so far up his ass that it almost looked painful.  And length?? About 6 inches too short, he has his black dress socks on and his hairy calves are sticking out with the space between the top of his socks and the bottoms of the jumpsuit legs.  I am laughing so hard that I fall off the bed.  I race out the door, I need a picture!!! He knows me too well and got his jumper off before I had time to get back up with my phone to capture the moment. So I did not get to capture possibly one of the most sidesplitting moments in our married lives (and there have been many) in a photo, I will forever carry that image with me.

While the purchase and idea did not work the way that I had anticipated it was $20 well spent.

It think I have another idea that WILL work (and fit).

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